Argument Gone Wrong
by Coco Gash Jirachi
Summary: Crackfic. In an innocent talk, Jaden and Zane start to argue. And then, everything just gets... screwed up. BastionxJaden, ZanexSyrus, HassleberryxJesse, SatoriousxAster. Rated M for sexual talk, mentions of sexual contact, and heavy sexual themes.


**Argument Gone Wrong**

**By Coco Gash Jirachi**

**Disclaimer: If I owned G/X, not only would I not speak English... _IT WOULDN'T BE ABOUT DUELING! WOO HOO! YAOI FOREVER!_**

**Ahem. (Clears throat.)**

**Just read the story...**

**Summary: AU. OOCness. The ultimate crackfic... In an innocent talk, Aster brings up a subject, then Jaden and Zane start to argue. And then, everything just gets... screwed up. BastionxJaden, ZanexSyrus, HassleberryxJesse, and SatoriousxAster. Rated M for sexual talk, mentions of sexual contact, and heavy sexual themes.**

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"And isn't pie like the greatest thing in the history of forever?" Jaden asked.

"I don't know about pie, but I love chocolate..." Jesse said, getting lust in his eyes.

"Ppffth. Give that kid chocolate, and he'll do anything..." Aster mumbled.

"Well, that explains a lot..." Zane mumbled back at him.

"And yesterday, I started to wonder... when we die, won't we all just go to heaven if heaven exists?" Jaden asked.

"Everybody?" Hassleberry asked.

"Yeah... I mean, we are all considered to be, like... 'God's children'..." Jaden said. "And if Satan used to be a living person as well, and then died, he would have actually gone to heaven, since we are all God's children."

"This is just a question, but, when did you get religious, Jaden?" Satorious asked.

"Oh, I've been browsing around on the Internet for wedding vows..." Jaden replied with a cheesy smile.

"You're just waiting for marriage, aren't you?" Aster asked.

"Yep." Jaden answered.

"The day you and Bastion get married is the day I change my name to 'Frank Mc-Jabber-Jaw-Of-The-Twenty-First-Century'..." Aster mumbled into his arms.

"Hey Ast, why would you want to change your name to that?!" Jaden asked in a loud voice right near Aster's ear with a goofy grin on his face.

"Because, it would be the end of the world when you get married..." Aster told him.

"You said it was the end of the world when you caught us having sex last month." Bastion said.

"And I'm still going through therapy from seeing that, thank you very much." Aster said, sitting up straight, crossing his arms.

"Wait a second..." Jaden said, the two wires in his head representing his brain connected, forming an electrical spark, reminding him of something.

"What is it? Are going to count your teeth again?" Aster asked.

Almost hitting Zane in the face, Jaden pointed at him, his finger very close to touching his nose.

"I just realized, I never got an answer to the question of why I saw you and Syrus having sex on my bed." Jaden said.

"Ewww! Bad mental images! _**GO AWAY!**_" Aster shouted, slamming his head onto the picnic table they sat at, shaking as he covered his head with his arms. "Satorious, please call my therapist!"

"Here we go again..." Bastion and Syrus said in unison.

"Jaden, drop it. It only happened that one time two and a half years ago." Zane said, gently pushing Jaden's hand away from him.

"Dude, I've been _**SCARED**_ of my bed because of that!" Jaden said.

"My God, you are really paranoid..." Zane said.

"_**I'M**_ paranoid?! I have a **_RIGHT _**to be _**PARANOID **_about that because it was _**MY BED**_, and I caught you two **_HAVING SEX ON IT!_**"

"Jaden, we burned the sheets and pillows and blankets and the fucking mattress! Get over it!"

"I don't think I will," Jaden said, bringing his legs up onto the picnic bench he sat on, sitting them Indian-style, crossing his arms, turning away, and pouting.

"And here we go again with 'Mr. Mc-Pouts-A-Lot'. It's a no wonder you always end up getting knocked up every night!"

_**"WHO TOLD YOU?!"**_ Jaden asked, wide-eyed.

"Who do you tell and who do you think tells me? Syrus, of course." Zane answered.

"Well that's because he always blabs and blabs and blabs and gives me detailed descriptions of how you're like the 'best love-maker in the history of forever'!" Jaden said.

"And here we go again with the unnecessary comments from the brown-haired idiot- and I'm _**NOT**_ talking about Atticus for once!" Zane said.

"Zane, calm down. You'll blow a gasket." Jaden said. "Then having sex with Syrus won't be as much fun anymore."

"What goes on within the walls of his dorm room is of nothing for you to be so worried about!" Zane said.

"Zane, face it, the entire Academy could hear you guys if it weren't for the fact you've both began doing it in Sy's Rah Yellow dorm room when he got promoted. Hell, the entire Academy already knows you do it. And so, let me re-enact you last intimate encounter..."

"Jaden, so help me God-" Zane began.

_"Oh, Zane! Harder! Harder!"_ Jaden mimicked Syrus' voice rather horribly. **_"You know you like it, Syrus!"_** he mimicked Zane's voice rather well, though. _"Oh, yes! I do! **Who's my naughty boy?!** Heh heh, I don't know..."_

"Jaden..." Zane growled, his eye brows bending in anger.

"Zane, face it, I know it, and so does Jesse." Jaden said, waving a hand. "I remember once we saw you giving Sy-"

"Jaden, shut your trap, _**NOW!**_" Zane snapped.

_**"Jaden, shut your trap, now..."**_ Jaden mumbled under his breath in another mimicking voice.

"That's it, Syrus, we're leaving." Zane said, standing up and taking Syrus by the wrist, and started to walk away, heading for the Rah dorms.

"Oh, great idea, Zane. So while I'm dis-infecting my room, you can sprawl him out on your bed, and taste the rainbow!" Jaden said after Zane was only steps away from the picnic table.

Freezing, Zane was left speechless.

"I take that silence as a 'yes'..." Jaden said.

"Zane... calm down... get into your Zen... remember the deep breathing exercises..." Syrus said as Zane's face turned red and he started to shake.

Then, Zane's anger snapped.

Letting go of Syrus' wrist, he stomped back to Jaden, and their bickering began.

They didn't know what they were saying exactly because they were talking too much and rather loudly, and it looked ridiculous because of their facial expressions and the movements they were making and the gestures they made with their arms.

"... So you'd basically do anything for chocolate, right?" Aster asked Jesse.

"Yep." Jesse answered with a smile.

"Would you make out with a cactus?" Aster asked.

"No problem." Jesse said.

"Have sex?"

"Even without the bribe."

"Go running around the school in nothing insanely singing 'Nakie Time' from the 'Potter Puppet Pals'?"

"Yep."

"... Wow. You're an idiot." Aster said.

"Hell, I'd cover every square millimeter of my body with chocolate and then have Ty-Ty li-" Jesse began.

"Satorious, _**THERAPIST PLEASE!**_"

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**_THEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_... Yeeeeeeeeah... _I have no clue where I got this idea... _I'M JUST A WRITER FOR GOD'S_ _SAKE!_**

**So... was this incredibly twisted? Cause... I can't even believe I'm the one who _WROTE_ _THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_... Sssssssssssooooooooooooo... REVIEW!_ (Runs off.)**


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